This week’s post is dedicated to my friends in my writing group on Discord, the Night Owls. Thank you for being there and being a light in a dark time. I love you all. Thanks for being my online family. Love, Aunt Lav.
Fellow crazy writers! It is nearly Nanowrimo time. How are you prepping? Lists of characters and plotlines and twists and turns? Or a singular page of a vague idea? Or nothing at all?
Here’s a better question: are you, in all the chaos, wackiness and changes of this bizarre year, taking care of yourself?
If you’re like me, things have been much more exhausting and draining than normal. The pandemic brought many changes at work, some good and some not. It’s created intense divides in the world and exposed many flaws in many systems that have always been there, but we can see more clearly. For as divisive as some things have been, many of those same incidents have brought people together.
Just as writing brings many of us, in this wordy, wacky community, together. And as we approach the month of marathon typing and furiously meeting word counts, I also want us to take a step back and ensure we don’t reach burn out stage. Me, after a long day at work, I pour myself a strong whiskey and put on some Tom Petty and vibe for a bit, going online to my Discord writing group to chat before I dig into writing. I find that small break in between work and writing gives my brain a chance to unwind and refocus. I always say writing is a matter if habit, more than awaiting inspiration. But even that habit can become tiresome.
I have no extensive list for self-care (and let’s be real, I am sure we’ve all seen enough of those this year – Pinterest and Google are overflowing with self-care articles). I only wanted to take a moment, as a human being, to reach out and send lots of love and hugs to everyone struggling. This type of isolation we’re experiencing this year is harmful in many ways. I mean, huggers, tell me: are you doing okay? Because I myself don’t remember the last real hug I had.
I’ve been isolating myself from socializing since before the pandemic began. And I didn’t realize how much I missed hearing voices and real laughter until last weekend, when I spent the night in my Discord writing group on voice chat as we played Cards Against Humanity. It was a virtual game night, but it was refreshing to hear happy voices in a positive setting. Isolation is a funny thing. It becomes mundane, quiet, but it becomes comfortable and familiar. Since leaving my marriage, I’ve adapted to nights of being alone, choosing home time and writing over wild weekends out at the bars. I am one of few of my friends, perhaps the only one, who is single and childfree in my 30s. I’m not even actively dating, and haven’t for a couple of years. Solitude has become the friend which enables to write in all my free time. Tranquility wrapped around me like warm blanket, offering time to reflect and journal and do some intense healing and self-growth I desperately needed. But one can only do that for so long.
While I’ve been taking care of myself spiritually and physically, I have drained my life socially. Anyone else? For being a year where we’re all supposedly coming together, it sometimes feels like we’ve never been further apart. So, I wanted to take a chance to remind all of you writers, entering Nanowrimo or not:
You aren’t alone. The world is still out there, turning and carrying on through this. Through the fractured society, the agony and despair that is rampant, you’re still allowed to smile and laugh. In fact, I encourage it. Finding time to sit back, socialize and laugh through some rounds of CAH, even virtually, did wonders for my mental health last weekend. Just as many of us have relied on art to pass time, be it creating or consuming, we also need laughter and smiles.
This truly has become a year of hanging on to little things to get through each day. And as we enter the month where some of us do most of our creating, I also want to put out a reminder to take time to reach out, talk to someone, and reconnect with the world a little again. If you’re like me, and are feeling alone even in your offline life, left behind, then reach out to your online friends and see if a phone call or voice chat is possible. My little Discord writing group has become like family to me and hearing their voices is one of my favourite parts of the week now.
And you know what? If you’re reading this, and thinking, “I have no one” even after considering your online friends? Hit me up. Send me an email, find me on social media, send me a message. Let’s connect. Let’s be friends. Let’s re-connect to the world, together. I, too, am struggling through this and have no idea where to start again. The pandemic isolation and distancing may end, but what about those of us who isolate because of mental illness? We get so into a routine because changes are hard, that it is difficult to stop and consider the logic.
You don’t deserve to be alone all the time. And you don’t need to be. Humans are not meant to live in glass houses, watching the world from another side. I know I am sure tired of my own glass house.
I end this with a quote from a song that has resonated with me for years, but really has been of late. Tom Petty, “Time to Move On”.
“Broken skyline, which way to Loveland?
Which way to something better?
Which way to forgiveness?
Which way do I go?
It’s time to move on, it’s time get going,
What lies ahead, I have no way of knowing,
But under my feet, baby, grass is growing,
It’s time to move on, it’s time to get going.”
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