I really hate walking away from a writing project. Really, really loathe it.
But I’ve been struggling immensely with the “Edge of Glory” rewrite and I am having trouble making it work. So, I’ve made a change to my self-publishing plans this year.
“Edge of Glory” is being shelved for now this year, until I can return to it and figure out why I am struggling with it so much. I absolutely wanted it released this summer, but I also want my books to be the best they can be when they go out into the world. And right now, “Edge of Glory” is far from being its best.
A part of me wonders if sometimes us writers outgrow projects, or if we simply don’t let the project grow with us. I was a different person when I began rewriting “Edge of Glory” from scratch six or seven years ago. I started it when I was a teenager, lost the original draft in a house fire, and then was yet again a different person when I began working on it once more. In the past three years alone, I’ve transformed into someone new. I think that is where the flaw is hiding, in this sliver of who I used to be, whereas I need to find a way to make the story grow with me. Become a part of who I am now.
Our stories become such a part of our souls, a piece of who we are in a certain time and place. A fractured glimpse of who we were in the past and who we are becoming. As our skills and visions as writers change, so too do we as people, and then our stories change.
In “Edge of Glory”, Lindsay is in some ways a reflection of who I was when I was young. Sometimes, that is difficult to revisit, but I feel like it’s an important era of my life to revisit, to close the book on, to close this book on. But I am having trouble writing my way through the book. It still needs a lot of work and love and nurturing to become what I have envisioned for it.
I don’t want to publish a book until it fits the vision I have for it. When I publish something, I want it to be the best it can be, to be eloquent in both the words and appearance. You, my beloved readers, have waited a long time for “Edge of Glory” and I want to ensure the wait is worth it. So, for now, I am going to work on it in the background to restructure and figure out how to make it grow with me, instead of leaving it behind completely, and without changing the characters you have come to love.
You’re all still getting a release from me this year, though. Instead, “Beyond Dark 1: Belladonna” is going to be released sometime this fall. The draft of my crime fiction series is currently available on Wattpad, in a stage of rewriting. I’ll also have a cover reveal coming to you soon for “Belladonna”! I cannot wait to share it with you. My readers over on Patreon will get an early glimpse of the cover, before I release it publicly.
Also, keep an eye out on Wattpad later this year for the spinoff series, “Beyond Dark: Undercover”. More murder, mafia and mayhem in the world of undercover agents, delving into secret lives of mobsters, our beloved agents and corrupt officials.
One project is being shelved, but there is so much more to come.
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