Only sometimes.
This is just going to be a random post, inspired by a conversation a couple weeks ago with my younger sister (formerly in-law, but seems as I’m divorced and I kept her instead, she’s my sister) and her friend. The two (who are 18 and 19-years old) were discussing what adult-like activities they’d done and I remarked that “I’ve been adulting for years, nothing new here.” Well, I was informed that someone has to have the life experience to pass down, so pass it down I did, seems as I turn 30 this year. I made a small rant about what my experience had taught me. Her friend told me this was “10/10” Tumblr worthy material, so I decided to make it into a blog post. Here it is.
So, here’s the deal. Based on my experience:
Pay your bills.
Take care of yourself. This isn’t just bubble baths and Netflix binges. This is doing your dishes before they’re mouldy. Cleaning your house so your space is sanitized, healthy and organized. A decluttered space is a decluttered mind. Be minimalist. Things won’t fill any voids.
If you feel a void, fill it with people, experiences, love (not just the romantic kind) and the things you want to do. Things you’re passionate about. Don’t become a hoarder to fill an emotional void. You don’t want to end up on one of those TV episodes.
Adopt the fur babies. Give a needy critter a home. Look for the seniors, disabled, the shy ones, the skittish ones, the ones who aren’t likely to get homes.
NEVER GET MARRIED. It’s a trap.
Drink in moderation. As someone who has been notorious in the past for overdrinking, I can confirm that it doesn’t solve a damn thing. It doesn’t fix traumas. It doesn’t make problems go away. It numbs things until it catches up with you when you’re sober.
Process feelings. Don’t run from them. It doesn’t matter how many towns you run to or how many beds you end up in, alone or otherwise. You’ll never outrun what’s in your head and heart. Fix that.
Abortions are okay. Making decisions about your own body is okay. Knowing you don’t want kids, now or ever, is okay. You don’t need to be what society dictates.
Ladies, don’t take shit from men. Stand your ground. Gentlemen, same. Don’t take shit from women who try to use you, abuse you or otherwise. Let’s make this the year we dispose of toxic people.
There’s no shame in taking medication or seeking therapy if you need it.
A career will never wake up one day and decide it doesn’t love you anymore. (A piece of solid advice from Lady Gaga I fully believe in). Pursue that passion before you pursue a relationship. Live for yourself. Love yourself.
A fur baby will also never wake up and decide it doesn’t love you anymore.
Know who your real friends are.
Family isn’t always blood.
Drink more water.
Treat yourself once in a while.
Do what you want as long as it doesn’t harm others. Karma is a thing, good and bad.
Give ‘em hell and stand for what you believe. Fly that freak flag. Trust me, as you get older, you care less about what others think anyway.
Speak your truths fearlessly.
Remember, the world can always use more love so put it out there when you can.
Recycle. Reuse. Be loving to our planet. It’s the only one we have. Grow things. Garden, even if it’s in pots.
You don’t NEED to be in a relationship all the time. There’s nothing wrong with flying solo and doing your thing until someone comes along and even if they don’t, that’s okay too. It’s about falling in love with yourself first. Once you do that, you don’t require a partner. Be your own loving spouse. (Drunk me cleans my house, puts away groceries and does things sober me puts off. She’s my magic fairy.). Find other things to live for. A passion. Hobbies. Friends. A circle you fit into within your community. Don’t worry about laying down your heart again and again. Find your own life.
Support your friends. Be there. Listen. Let them make mistakes. Let them date the wrong people without judging them, and be there if and when it falls through. Give them a space where they can vent, talk, rant and discuss whatever they need without judgement, without fear and without worry of someone talking behind their back and spilling their secrets. Be that person.
You don’t always need to go to college to be successful. Education isn’t an institution; it’s a lifelong journey. You don’t need school to learn new things. Read. Absorb knowledge. Curious about something? Go research it. Dive head first into it. Drown in it until you know it inside out. Become an expert in a bit of everything.
There it is. My Tumblr worthy life advice for my 30th year on the planet. They say you get wiser with age, so hopefully there are less mistakes on my end and more successes, more happiness. We live and learn and develop. Here’s to growth and better days ahead!
